A Wild Last Boss Appeared! - Epilogue 5

 That day, Pisces the Fish was in an exceptionally good mood. 

It’s not that he was literally chirping like a monkey in excitement. It just means he was feeling really elated. 

Just as he was thinking that, a monkey happened to pass by, chirping excitedly. 

No, not you. I wasn’t calling you. Go away.

Anyway, putting that aside, Pisces had been looking forward to this day for a long time. Today was the joyous occasion of Christmas. Of course, there was no such event in Midgard, and besides, the saint who inspired Christmas didn’t exist there either, so there was no birthday to celebrate in the first place. But none of that mattered. He’d heard about it from his mother…that on Earth, there’s a holiday called Christmas, a holy—no, a sexy night—for lovers to whisper sweet nothings and make love. 

Pisces felt a strong interest in and deep sympathy for this thing called Christmas. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of the child of God. And as for the god of Midgard—well, as you know, that would be the near-omnipotent idiot, Alovenus. And the child of that god—well, that would be Pisces himself. So logically, that means his birthday = Christmas, doesn’t it? That was Pisces’s line of thinking.

Frankly speaking, Pisces had no idea when his real birthday was. 

I mean, do you have any idea how many thousands of years he’s been alive? 

That sort of thing is buried in the sands of time. So, in the absence of that knowledge, Pisces arbitrarily decided; Christmas is my birthday!

For the record, if one were to convert his actual birthdate to the Gregorian calendar, it would be May 3rd. Absolutely no connection to Christmas whatsoever. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Having declared his own birthday without permission, he promptly invited Ruphas and the others to celebrate this special occasion. 

In short, he asked them to celebrate his birthday. What an audacious guy. 

Surprisingly, Ruphas agreed. She didn’t particularly care whether it was Pisces’s birthday or not—what interested her was the custom of Christmas itself.

And so, Ruphas and the others were now on Earth, having come through the Exgate.

You might be thinking, Why though? But the truth is, this was just faster. 

Rather than trying to recreate Christmas from scratch in Midgard—a place where the holiday doesn’t even exist—it made way more sense, and was much more fun, to go directly to Earth and join in a fully developed celebration. Of course, everyone in the group was wearing a bracelet that sealed their powers, so even at full strength, the most they could manage was barely exceeding Mach speed. In other words, if they went all out, they’d probably level a city.

This time, the ones who came to Earth were Ruphas, Dina, and Alovenus, as well as all the other Thirteen Stars—except for Leon—and also Terra and Luna. Unlike last time, the tragic scenario of having only men present was successfully avoided..As expected, Leon had zero interest in this kind of event and didn’t come along, which was honestly a relief for Pisces. If Sagittarius hadn’t come either, it would’ve been perfect.

“Jingle bells, jingle bells...”

Dina strolled through the city in high spirits, a rare sight. Even without doing anything in particular, just walking through a lively festival atmosphere like this was enough to lift her mood. She’d spent a long time in this world before, so she’d experienced Christmas many times. That made her, most likely, the most knowledgeable about the holiday among their group.

“Still, Christmas, huh? Kind of funny that someone like me—who once picked a fight with a god—is here celebrating the birthday of a god’s child, even if it’s in a different world.”

“Isn’t it fine, though? I mean, look at that.”

Ruphas chuckled wryly at the irony of herself enjoying Christmas, but honestly, she was still among the more reasonable ones. At the very least, compared to her—the woman Dina pointed at.

"Jingle bells, jingle bells!"

There, Alovenus—dressed in a Santa Claus costume—was happily enjoying Christmas. 

Just to be clear: this being is technically the god of Midgard. Or rather, she’s the god of the Endpoint, which encompasses all possible universes, dimensions, and parallel worlds. 

...Seriously, is that really okay?

“…Watching her just makes it all feel kind of meaningless.”

“Exactly.”

The two of them sighed and turned their eyes back to the city. Christmas trees lined the streets in neat arrangements that didn’t obstruct the well-kept roads, each one adorned with glowing illuminations that shimmered with a mystical beauty. Not that they could expect any sense of mystique from the god accompanying them—who couldn’t be less mysterious if she tried—but regardless, the atmosphere was magical and beautiful.

Then again, Ruphas and the others were practically beings out of fantasy themselves.

The night streets were brimming with an energy unimaginable in Midgard, full of couples and families happily walking to and fro. Elsewhere, a Santa Claus, frustrated by the modern absence of chimneys, was caught on tape slapping duct tape on a window, smashing it open, and unlocking the latch to sneak in—only to be arrested by Sei, now a police officer. “You’ve got it all wrong, officer!” he protested. 

Meanwhile, a cake shop worker, desperate to sell off cakes before their expiration date at midnight, shouted for customers with life-or-death urgency. That too was just another part of the Christmas scenery. At the edge of the road, a group of men were yelling, “Comrades! Christmas was originally a solemn ceremony to celebrate a saint’s birth! Let us sacrifice these lovebird infidels flooding our streets!” 

So that’s what happens to men who never get dates… how pitiful, Ruphas thought, feeling a wave of sorrow and secondhand embarrassment. Then, all of a sudden, she noticed two people were missing.

“Come to think of it, where did Pisces go? And Sagittarius too?”

“Huh? Now that you mention it…they’re not here. Maybe they got lost?”

Pisces was absolutely ecstatic. Not that he was literally hooting like a monkey in excitement. It just means he was incredibly thrilled. Just as he was thinking that, a gorilla that had escaped from the zoo happened to pass by, grunting uho uho.

Nope. Close, but still not you. Go back to the zoo.

And the reason Pisces was this hyped? It was because he had finally succeeded in getting Ruphas alone with him—just the two of them. On a whim, he’d asked her if she’d like to go somewhere together, and perhaps due to the open-hearted spirit of Christmas, she surprisingly said yes. Oddly, neither Scorpius nor Libra—who always tagged along with Ruphas—said anything. In fact, Scorpius even gave him a strange look…one that felt suspiciously like pity. But whatever. That’s a Sagittarivial detail. Not important.

“So? Where do you plan on taking me?”

Ruphatarius—no, Ruphas, said with a teasing sideways glance. Pisces, flustered on the inside but keeping up a cool front, delivered the line he’d spent several days preparing.

“O my beautiful master… Tonight, I wish to receive a Christmas present from you. Yes… I desire your love.”

A man walking nearby spat on the ground at the unbearable cheesiness of it. On the other side, a group of high school girls passed by, giggling behind their hands. Sadly, the line Pisces had spent days crafting was not only lacking in taste—it was downright cringe.

“Oh?”

Ruphas chuckled with amusement and placed a hand against the wall, cornering him. This, he’d heard, was called a kabe-don—a wall slam. According to Alovenus, it was the ultimate move to seduce a woman in Japan. One might question what good it does to demonstrate you're a weakling who can’t even break a wall, but if it was trendy, then it must be done. Pisces thought so and executed a wall slam of his own. He may have misjudged his strength a little—the wall creaked ominously under the pressure, but let’s not dwell on that.

“You’re not getting away tonight, Ruphas-sama.”

—Perfect.

Pisces congratulated himself internally, convinced he had nailed it. He’d read in a book that women like a man who comes on strong. That meant his approach had to be flawless. As Pisces basked in his own performance, Ruphas smiled—and then opened her mouth.

“I see... So in the end, your goal really was to do unspeakable things to Ruphas-sama, wasn’t it?”

That voice did not belong to Ruphas. 

It was far deeper—distinctly masculine.

To Pisces, it was the last voice he wanted to hear in the world. It was the voice of a pervert burned into his traumatic memories. His face turned pale. And then—flashbacks.

“Y-You’re not Ruphas-sama!? Y-You’re…you can’t be—!”

“Indeed.”

Ruphas's body began to glow, enveloped in light like a magical girl transformation straight out of a shoujo manga. Her silhouette shimmered and shifted—and what emerged was a burly, muscle-bound man. A black crew cut. Sunglasses shading his eyes. A cigar clamped between his lips. A rough beard stubbled along his jaw. He wore a black suit—well, the jacket only, as usual—tailored to avoid standing out too much even on the streets of Japan. His lower half, however, remained shamelessly exposed.

That man’s name was—

The Imperial Thirteen Heavenly Stars, Sagittarius the Archer.

“As long as I’m here, I won’t let you have your way.”

“You tricked meeeee!! You tricked me againnnn!!”

This guy again!? This pattern again!? Pisces wept. He cried tears of blood. Why, on this sacred night, did he have to endure the sight of another man’s unsightly lower half? But his misfortune was not yet over. A hand tapped him on the shoulder from behind. Turning around, he saw several police officers standing there.

“You’re under arrest for public indecency. We’ll need you to come with us.”

“And that man’s being charged with property damage.”

Thus, until Ruphas came to bail them out the next day, Sagittarius and Pisces spent their Christmas Eve in a jail cell—alongside a man dressed as Santa Claus.

* * *

That night, Minamijuuji Sei was walking along the beach with Virgo.

Even though it was Christmas, he’d been on duty since morning—arresting thieves dressed as Santa Claus and more. It had been a rough day. Still, he’d managed to make time for this date. He wasn't going to let this night slip away unused. It was Christmas. If ever there was a night to make a move—this was it.

(...Alright. This time for sure, I’m going to say it. I’ve got the ring and everything. We’re still young, but that won’t last forever. Virgo and I live on different timelines. Our lives are diverging. But Virgo still chooses to wait for me. So I’ve got to answer that. I wouldn’t be a man otherwise.)

Sei clenched his resolve. The lifespan of a human and a Heaven-Winged were fundamentally different. He would pass away long before her.

He had thought, many times, that if he truly cared for her, he should never say these words. That he should take this feeling to the grave. Even when she first came to Earth, he’d thought he should push her away. Because that, surely, was what was best for her. But then Ruphas had told him: Don’t keep her waiting so long. Virgo had come to Earth knowing all of that. She’d made her choice fully aware. And Ruphas told him to truly think about what that meant.

“Don’t worry about lifespan or race. If you choose to die as a human, both I and Virgo will respect that. But if you want to live longer with her—then I’ll make that happen. So stop thinking about the end. Think about the now.”

Those words from Ruphas had spurred Sei to make up his mind. That’s why—tonight, he would say it. Last time, they were interrupted. But this time, for sure.

“Virgo… I want you to listen.”

“Mm.”

“I… I want to walk the path ahead…with you…”

Just as Sei was about to make the most important confession of his life—

—the sea suddenly surged upward. Startled, the two turned around to see a grotesque, massive monster rising from the ocean.

A bringer of madness. A god from beyond this world. An alien abomination—Thulhu. And he had appeared…dressed as Santa Claus.

“■■■■■■■……”

The eldritch god was singing a Christmas song in a sound that could hardly be called a voice—just pure auditory discomfort. But mid-song, he noticed the eyes watching him. Turning his head, he saw Sei and Virgo standing there… and realized, once again, that he had completely misread the timing.

“■■……”

Ah—don’t mind me, carry on.

It was as if it were saying that, as Thulhu awkwardly waved a hand and slipped back into the sea. The romantic mood was thoroughly ruined. The ocean, which had glistened just moments ago, now seemed murky and tainted.

“Don’t ever come back!!” Sei shouted, on the verge of tears.