Too Bad! My Adventure Ends Here! Episode 3: Apparently, There’s a Protagonist Who Still Can’t Leave the First Village

“Okay, so... what the hell am I supposed to do with this mountain of corpses?”

I begged the goddess on my knees and somehow managed to get some clothes as a reincarnation bonus. Thus, I completed my 256th reincarnation.

Right now, my biggest problem was the literal pile of my own corpses I had accumulated while trying to adapt to this world.

Looking at it again... it’s disgusting. Insanely disgusting. There are 255 naked versions of me lying dead all over the place.

There’s a squashed me, a burnt-to-a-crisp me, a me with limbs twisted in all the wrong directions... It’s stupidly diverse for no reason.

Dear villagers, I am so sorry for scattering weird things all over your land. Also, if you're going to let me respawn, can’t you at least make the previous bodies disappear? Why do they all just stay there?

“Soldier! Over here!”

“This is the place? Where the identical corpses are... WHA?! This is freaky!”

While I was lost in thought, a few soldiers showed up, led by some villagers.

Naturally, I hid immediately.

Well, yeah. If you pile up this much weirdness, of course someone’s going to call the authorities. And if I’m discovered, I’ll absolutely get arrested. Still, at least now the soldiers will probably clean up my corpses.

Please, just burn them. Burn them all.

The soldiers were creeped out, but still carefully examined the bodies one by one.

“They really all have the same face... Is it a new type of monster?”

“Why aren’t any of them wearing clothes?”

“Even the hair and eye color match.”

“Even their d* sizes are identical.”

STOP ITTTTTTTTTTT!?

Why the hell are you guys observing that in detail!? Please, just burn them already! Who cares about my d*** size!?

But, of course, my inner screams of shame went unheard, and the soldiers continued their inspection.

“Still though... Pfft. This guy’s really tiny.”

“Uncut, too.”

“Yeah, definitely a virgin.”

STOOOOOOP!!!

Please stop... I’m begging you... please...

I was honestly about to die for the 256th time, this time from pure humiliation.

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!”

“Whoa! What the hell?!”

“A guy just jumped out!”

“Wait, he’s got the same face as the corpses!”

Before I knew it, I’d leapt out, screaming. The shame was just too much to bear. Kill me. Just kill me already. Please.

Maybe that desperate wish was what pushed my body into motion. Either way, I couldn’t stay there a second longer. As a result, I was swiftly cut down by a soldier’s sword.

Too bad! My adventure ends here!

—Cause of Death No. 256: Slain by a soldier.

When I respawned, I made eye contact with a soldier. Right next to him was my freshly killed corpse.

Ah... yeah. That’s right. This is the respawn point, so of course they’re still here.

“It—it showed up again!?”

“Cut it down! Cut it down!”

And so, once again, I was promptly cut down by the soldier’s blade.

But it’s not the soldier’s fault. This is entirely the goddess’s fault for not deleting my previous corpses. I mean, anyone would freak out if they saw something like that. I’d freak out too if the roles were reversed.

So I held no grudge, and let the soldier cut me down.

Too bad! My adventure ends here!

—Cause of Death No. 257: Slain by a soldier (again).

“Um, Goddess? Can you delay my next revival just a bit? Or maybe change my respawn point?”

“Hmm? Why?”

“I’ve died so many times in the same spot that the soldiers are now posted there. If I respawn now, they’ll kill me instantly.”

Back in the reincarnation room, I begged the goddess to delay my respawn. I couldn’t revive now. The soldiers were definitely still there. Give it at least a day... no, maybe two... or even a whole week...

The goddess thought for a moment and finally sighed, “I suppose there’s no helping it.”

“Alright then. Let’s make it a week.”

“You’re the best!”

I thanked the goddess. Now the soldiers wouldn’t have to kill me needlessly anymore. Unfortunately, it was all for nothing.

Because when I revived the next time, there was a hastily built structure at the respawn point, with soldiers already stationed there.

...No way. They built a damn outpost.

“There it is! The monster!”

“Kill it!”

Ah, so I’ve officially been labeled a monster. Got it.

As the soldier’s shining blade hit my neck, I watched the spinning world around me like it was someone else’s problem.

Too bad! My adventure ends here!

—Cause of Death No. 258: Slain by a soldier (third time).

“Goddess, please just change the respawn point.

That place is hopeless. They’ve got an entire post set up and soldiers rotating shifts!”

“Ehh~? You’ve died 258 times and you still haven’t left the first village?”

“It’s not my fault the corpses don’t disappear! There are too many soldiers now, it’s impossible!”

“Don’t worry. Every time you die, you’ll remember your cause of death and get stronger. Eventually, you’ll be able to escape no matter how many soldiers there are! You got this!”

I begged the goddess to change the spawn point, but she refused. Apparently, I had to figure this out on my own. Goddess, you suck.

“Fine! I’ll do it! You want me to do it, huh? Then I’ll DO it!”

“Yes, good luck~”

Screw it. I’m going all in now.

I screamed in frustration and dove back into that world once again. Naturally, the moment I arrived, the soldiers turned and rushed toward me.

“UWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!”

I roared. Then turned and ran as fast as I could.

The soldiers chased me immediately... and yeah, they’re faster.

Of course they are. I only just recently managed to walk normally again. Before that, I died over and over just from trying to move.

The soldiers, on the other hand, had been living and training under this world’s conditions the entire time. Armor or not, they were clearly faster than me. I was caught and cut down in an instant.

Too bad! My adventure ends here!

—Cause of Death No. 259: Slain by a soldier (4th time).

“I won’t fall! I’ll come back again and again!”

“Ugh, it’s back!”

“Is that guy immortal!?”

As soon as I revived, the chase resumed. My legs had gotten a little faster than before, enough to hold my own against the soldiers. But they had numbers. I was alone.

And I had no idea how this village was laid out.

When I turned a corner, I ran right into a soldier who had looped around. I panicked and tried to run back, but it was too late.

Surrounded, nowhere to run. I was cut down again.

Too bad! My adventure ends here!

—Cause of Death No. 260: Slain by a soldier (5th time).

“If I got a nickel every time I died, I’d be rich by now!”

Respawn.

But as soon as I came back to life, I despaired. The soldiers had predicted my spawn point perfectly. There were soldiers right in front of me. Not just that—there were soldiers on all sides, blocking any possible escape.

You guys... You went that far?

Fine. I get it. You’re serious. Then I’ll get serious too. I’ll definitely escape this time, just to spite you.

...And then I got cut down again.

Too bad! My adventure ends here!

—Cause of Death No. 261: Slain by a soldier (6th time).

“It’s not over! Not yet! I’ll show you that sheer numbers don’t decide the battle!”

Undeterred, I respawned again. I dodged the sword that swung at me the moment I appeared and used the soldier’s head as a springboard to leap.

“He used me as a stepping stone!?”

“I can see it... I can read his movements!”

More soldiers came flooding in. A storm of blades.

But it doesn’t matter how many come—only so many can attack at once. All I had to do was dodge the ones aimed directly at me. Don’t get distracted by numbers.

“Unbelievable!!”

I shouted, dodging sword after sword. Front, side, behind, diagonal! Overhead, sideways, upward slash, downward, thrust! I dodged them all.

But... there were too many. I could dodge them, but I couldn’t break through. The soldiers were a literal wall of humans. An unending barricade. With no way out and my stamina depleted, I was finally cut down.

Too bad! My adventure ends here!

—Cause of Death No. 262: Slain by a soldier (7th time).

“True defeat only comes when you give up! And I haven’t given up yet!”

This time, when I revived, the soldiers had formed a perfect perimeter.

Front, back, sides—blocked from the start. Shields in front, spears behind and on the flanks. They were fully ready to crush me.

One versus a hundred? One versus a thousand? Okay, maybe not a thousand. But still, it’s hopeless.

“Bring it on, bastards!!”

I jumped again. Leaping from head to head, dodging sword after sword. One, two, three... ten, twenty, thirty.

If you compare this to the early days when I died just by moving, this is a massive improvement.

(Though the fact it took 262 deaths to get here is... questionable.)

I thought I could make it. I really believed that—until something pierced me from afar and broke my rhythm. As I fell, I saw it: a soldier aiming a bow.

A projectile...!?

Too bad! My adventure ends here!

—Cause of Death No. 263: Shot by a soldier.

Next time I revived, the trap was even more elaborate. Soldiers were on the rooftops, bows drawn and aimed right at me.

You bastards... you really went all out.

“T-time out! I have a question!”

“Permission granted! Speak!”

“Why the hell are you guys going THIS hard on ONE dude!? Are you seriously that bored!? And what’s with swarming this tiny village with an army!?”

“Silence! No matter how small the threat, it is our duty to eliminate anything that disturbs the peace of our people! We fight so that the villagers may sleep in peace! Village size, threat size—none of that matters! We are the Royal Knights, and we will risk our lives to protect them!”

So competent!? What kind of fantasy knights are this efficient!?

You’re not supposed to be like this! Fantasy knights are supposed to be useless—always late to show up and no help when it counts! That’s why the protagonist has to go all out and save the day!

Even the lazy “Ugh, fine, I guess I’ll step in” type of MC gets to shine because the knights suck!

But if the knights are this good, then there’s no spotlight left for the protagonist!

“That’s enough! Fire!!”

“Wait, no—!”

Too bad! My adventure ends here!

—Cause of Death No. 264: Shot by a soldier (again).

“What matters most is the will to move forward toward the goal! As long as that will exists, I will eventually reach it!”

I will rise again and again!

Upon respawning, I jumped through the rain of arrows from all directions. In mid-air, I crossed my arms, tucked in my legs, and spun.

Slipping through the tiniest gaps between arrows, I landed on a soldier’s head and leapt again. Don’t look away. Don’t lose focus. Eyes forward. That’s where the path is.

An endless barrage of arrows... looks like there’s no escape—but there is.

Humans shoot those arrows, and humans aren’t perfect. There's always inconsistencies. If it’s just me, I can slip through the narrow gaps.

I dove through those gaps. Dodging. Dodging. Dodging! I could see it—the trajectory of each arrow!

“H-he’s getting faster!”

“Don’t falter! Cut him down!”

I ran across their heads, using even their swinging swords as stepping stones. Then I snatched a sword from one of the soldiers and started slicing arrows out of the air.

Pushing forward, forward! I won’t give up. I will definitely—definitely escape this village!

Just as I made that vow—My body burst into flames.

Looking up, I saw a robed guy aiming his hand at me.

A mage...!?

Too bad! My adventure ends here!

—Cause of Death No. 265: Burned to death by a soldier.

“Goddess... is this even winnable...?”

Saying that just 12 lines after swearing I wouldn’t give up probably makes me sound like a joke... but seriously. I'm honestly starting to think this is literally impossible.

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